I’ve been traveling. My husband and I drove to Florida and back in less than seven days. It was a bit surreal, really. Covid-19 is still very much active, but my husband hasn’t seen his mother in about three years and the vacation had been on the books for months, so we went.

First we spent a night with his brother, whom he had also not seen in some time, in New Jersey. We were there to pick up his father’s and uncle’s ashes to bring down to Florida. Don’t ask me why my mother-in-law couldn’t have picked them up when staying with his brother last, or had them shipped, or whatever. They’ve only been at my brother-in-law’s house for something like twelve years or more so why they are needed now is a mystery I can’t answer.

We traveled on early the following day and found that the Covid-19 regulations are different in every state. Hotels were open, but down through Virginia you couldn’t hope to eat anything but takeout. Masks were required in public. But travel 80 miles down the road to North Carolina and, miraculously, outlet mall stores were open, restaurants had lines out the door, and no one was required to wear a mask. This remained the case, more or less, down to Florida. 

Upon entering Florida, however, any car coming from Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Louisiana, or Alabama was required to register at the border, so to speak. To register where the occupants were staying, for approximately how long, and required to shelter in place for 14 days or until leaving the state, whichever came first. 

Parts of New York, New Jersey and Connecticut have been hard hit by Covid-19, but it seemed bizarre that cars originating from there were required to register, while Georgia residents to the immediate north of Florida, and which had people roaming around freely, unmasked and eating out at restaurants, were not. Ditto for North and South Carolina residents where the same conditions prevailed. I would hazard a guess that people from the northern states were less likely to bring Covid into Florida than someone from North Carolina simply because the social distancing and masking requirements are much stricter.

We got back on the road feeling like we were caught out at doing something naughty. 

We arrived at my mother-in-law’s in the early afternoon. I’ll admit, my tolerance for spending time with my husband’s mother is typically about 72 hours and I was dreading this trip because let’s face it: there is a national crisis underway and little activity out of the home. No shopping. No beach time. Nowhere to escape to if needed. 

I am pleased to report that it wasn’t my mother-in-law who drove me crazy this time, but her live-in boyfriend. Now HE did drive me nuts. And then came the reports of protesting over George Floyd’s death. I don’t object to protesting. America was born out of protest so it would be hypocritical to deny that right to Americans. What I do object to is rioting, violence, and looting, although it must be said that too is part of the history of America’s birth. I just didn’t want to get caught up in it in the long drive home.

We opted to leave a day early and take the less direct way home away from densely populated areas, skirting the 95 corridor in favor of Route 17. 

I am glad we got home a day early. It gave me time to wind down, adjust, and go grocery shopping before looking after my mother for all of Sunday while my father took a day off to visit family in Vermont. He needed it, no doubt, but I am always uneasy when he drives long distances. Or gets behind a wheel at all, for that matter. He is 82 and his eyesight isn’t what it was. He absolutely cannot drive at night since his macular degeneration doesn’t let his eyes adjust from light to dark and back again. He’s effectively blind at night and at least realizes that driving at night is a non-starter.

The combination of his own aging and realization of his own mortality and my mother’s illness has made him like a caged animal. Sullen and grumpy and apt to argue every little thing. He is a natural extrovert and being cooped by caretaking mom all week long and the lockdown world of Covid-19 is making him even crazier. 

My sisters and I do what we can. We all work full time and are grateful for it, especially now when unemployment is at 20% or more. I go every Saturday to give my father that break and my sister goes every Sunday. My youngest sister lives out of state but comes when she can. Covid-19 has made her cautious though. She doesn’t want to put our elderly parents at risk coming from a hotspot where her exposure is higher no matter what precautions she takes.

This means that my instate sister and I share more of the burden, frankly, but what can you do? At some point, Covid-19 will release its hold on the world, but it won’t be anytime soon. I only hope my youngest sister gets to see my mother again before anything happens to her. Mom really doesn’t get the concept of Zoom, Facetime, or any other digital communication. She only understands the telephone, and now she doesn’t really want to talk on the phone either. I’m not sure why. Is her hearing going so the sounds make no sense? Is it the disconnect of a disembodied voice coming from a small device? Like the teacher in the Peanuts cartoon? Whaa, wha, wha, wha, whaaa…. Is it because she has nothing much to say? Could be all of the above or none. I just don’t know.

Everything seems like a mystery to be unraveled these days. I wish Mrs. Fletcher was around to solve them for me.